'Tis the Season - Winter Weight

*Content Warning* - Weight Fluctuations

Being forced to slow down and spend lots of time in one place means I have been thinking a lot about the seasons this year. I wrote a short blog early in the year about seeing bodily changes as a seasonal cycle and I wanted to dig a little bit deeper into that.

Lately, I have been feeling rubbish. Winter months and spending so much time indoors has naturally meant that I have increased the amount of fat in my body. I hate that this has made me feel sad. I hate that fat is associated with so many negative attributes in my mind like laziness, unattractiveness etc. when having fat in your body does not equate to those things at all. I hate that I know the latter and yet I still feel the former. I hate that I feel these things every year. EVERY YEAR. I know I gain fat at this time and yet I continue to bully myself about it. Why hasn’t it sunk in yet that yes, I am fatter at this time but I am less fat at other points in the year? And why does fat still have such a negative effect on my state of mind anyway?

All big questions and, for me, understanding why things happen helps me to take them on board so I decided to look into why humans gain weight in winter.

Evolution always moves forward so nothing is ever deleted. For this reason, humans still have our Primal or Reptilian Brain (Basal Ganglia) as well as all of our adaptations since, e.g. our rational brain (Neocortex). In winter, our primal worries of food scarcity, surviving the cold etc. still kick into action so naturally we seek out more food to warm us up (food digestion generates heat) and so our body can store fat to burn off when we can’t find food.

We also experience a lot more darkness in winter in this country which causes an increase in melatonin production. Melatonin is a hormone released by the body to encourage sleep. This increase can result in a lack of energy and motivation - perhaps the reason why I don’t feel like running a half marathon but that could also be because I understand that running is evil. I jest. I actually did enjoy running at one point but I am an old lady who gets a pain in her knee every time she runs now so I stopped.

Also, adverts. I can’t deny that I live in a society where I am constantly encouraged to indulge during this time of year. More time indoors leads to more time watching TV with many, many adverts showing mouth watering food. All images showing beautiful people sexily indulging versus the adverts in January which will show people eating the same quantities of food but looking dishevelled and greasy so we know it's bad in January.

This year is no exception, with retailers suffering badly due to lockdown measures, their marketing teams are increasing the pressure to buy not one but two for the price of one. Sure you might as well. Obviously, there are some people on this planet with the willpower of a small child refusing a nap but I am not one. Well, when it comes to delicious food anyway!

So obviously, I don’t suddenly just gain fat as soon as the leaves fall off the trees but the shorter days and drop in temperature do cause some changes in my behaviour, as well as there being some societal shifts, which all naturally mean my body fat goes up.

Understanding all of this helps me to see my fat increase as a natural part of being human and less of a moral failing. This is obviously great as it helps me find peace with how my body looks and changes. However, it also has this undercurrent of “Phew. I’m not fat. That’s ok then.” which is the biggest problem right? By continuing these negative associations with fat, I am perpetuating this idea that fat is bad, that fat is less. It's not okay to say “Oh, I’m fine being fat in winter as I’ll know I’ll be thin in summer.”

Mainly because fat is just fat at any time of the year.

It doesn’t tell you anything about who I am as a person. It doesn’t tell you that Hawkeye from M*A*S*H was my first TV crush, that I like licking the jam out of jam tarts before eating the pastry or that I am jealous of everyone who can do a Donald Duck impression. Fat is not a defining characteristic. Fat does not mean that I am or am not attractive (some find it attractive, others don't). Fat is not positive or negative. Fat is just fat.

This is what I need to understand the why of. Why have we come to let fat define who people are? Why do we see fat as one of the worst things we can possess? Why do we let our fat content continually crush our sense of self-worth and that of those we love and care about?

Who cares about how and when we gain/lose fat, the big question is why do we care about fat at all?