The Knickers of Satan

Since I can remember I've been told you can't wear clothes if they cling to your flesh. Lumps and bumps are not attractive. In fact, most people think they are gross. So you have two choices – wear looser clothes or buy huge pants that squeeze all your flesh against your bones so that you are smooth in all the right places. Most of the time I've settled for the latter so I can wear the dress I've fallen in love with without repulsing anyone. Never mind the fact that the edge of the underwear cuts my skin making walking and moving difficult and leaves me with red sores which I have to deal with in the subsequent days. Never mind that going to the bathroom is a sweaty, impossible mess which sometimes requires me to put cold water on my skin just so I can pull them back up (fans of Friends see the episode where Ross is trying to get the leather pants back on).

THEY ARE AWFUL.

LOOK AT THEM!! KNICKERS OF SATAN!!

So, recently, when I was packing up to move house I had a choice. Bring my massive underwear with me and continue to wrap my self up like a clingfilm covered chicken or let them go and embrace the lumps and bumps. Guess which I chose? That's right those bad boys are gone.

If we all have lumps and bumps why are we all obsessed with making ourselves smooth? No human is smooth. It's weird to insist on it. It's weird that supermodels and celebrities at the height of fitness still feel the need to wear Spanx instead of embracing and showing off their hard worked at bodies.

So ladies and gentlemen of the interweb I vow that henceforth that I will continue to buy the dresses I love and if there's a lump here and there that disgusts someone well they can cross the road, head back to their house, go into their bathroom, look in the mirror and tell themselves to get a grip.  

Tags: body positive, body confidence, body image