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I am finding it a real struggle to write blogs around this theme of Pleasure. That’s not because I am finding exploring it difficult, but it’s such inner work and feels so individual that it’s hard to think about what might be useful for other people to know. It’s not going to be useful for me to just list all the things about myself that I have discovered bring me real pleasure you know? So I thought perhaps it would be more useful to talk about the process and the exercises I am using during this exploration. People who follow the blog on Instagram may have seen and see some of this popping up as the weekly task but hopefully they will be useful for those of you who don’t follow it that closely. They are also all made up and have no basis in any sort of science or psychology!!
I also want to caveat all of this by saying that I am struggling with my mental health at the minute and I have found this work very useful as it doesn't rely on feeling or being happy. It has also allowed me space to appreciate those parts of myself that I feel are the more “negative” sides and to understand their place.
1. Pleasure Month
I have decided to spend the month putting the things that give me pleasure at the top of my priority list. This involves trying to do one thing everyday that gives me pleasure. The word try is important as considering it’s a whole month of pleasure, if I skip a day then that’s okay. By making this a goal, I have found myself saying yes to a lot of things that I usually put at the bottom of my priority list due to them not being important. I have also noticed that things I haven’t done in a long time are starting to reappear in my life which is very nice.
2. Pleasure List
I have started to keep a list of all the things that bring me pleasure, not just body stuff. So that’s a mixture of all the things I am doing as well as those I am noticing about myself. At the end of the month my hope is to put a star next to the ones that I really connected with and make sure I continue to incorporate them into my life.
3. Pleasure Reflection
I am not sure if any of you journal. I don’t do it regularly at all. I tend to do it every once in a while when I have a very specific question I want to ask myself. This month I wrote at the top of the page “ What about being in this body brings you pleasure?” I have yet to write anything underneath it but I am thinking about it a lot. While I am working or doing housework or just sitting watching TV I am mulling it over like I imagine cows do when they sit and digest. I may never fill in that page but I think even just asking the question of myself has felt huge and baffling that I haven't really considered it before. This one is quite abstract so in case it’s helpful - one of the things I enjoy about my body is it’s visceral response to smelling garlic. It really gets my nerve endings going and I love that garlic creates that genuine glee in my body!
4. Pleasure Affirmations
Changing the way you talk about yourself and to yourself is the best tool I think in all of those and I wouldn’t be as far along with example mantras and affirmations to help me do that. Honestly, saying nice things to yourself is so hard so I like having affirmations so I don’t have to come up with stuff all the time. The ones I have found useful this month are:
Being in this body gives me an enormous amount of pleasure
I deserve to take great amounts of pleasure in who I am
The way my body moves is such a joy to behold
Me, as I am now, is such a pleasurable place to be*
*very difficult one during the black dog days, I suggest reverting to one of the others
I do these as often as I think of them and every time I shower. Sometimes I repeat one over and over and sometimes I say all of them. Really depends on how I feel. Which is one of the pleasures I have found this month - doing stuff because I feel like it, not because I feel I should do it, has been a real discovery this month. I am finding it very hard to do but very satisfying when I do. There's been no guilt or shame about it either because it’s the month of pleasure!
That’s what I have been doing so far. I may get other ideas as the month goes on but I am really enjoying this exploration and doing these exercises.